Saturday, June 18, 2011

Castles in the air

Few of my “Castles” ………

Air force pilot: I didn’t even know whether girls are allowed in this profession or not. As a matter of fact even today I am not sure. But just look at the those pilots’ attitude ! Man ! I even used to dream about marrying an Air force pilot and going on our super secret missions together !

IPS officer : Got inspired after watching a TV serial Udaan on DD national .I don’t even remember which class I was in.

Singer : haahaa !I The thought itself is so absurd. My little sister (she hates being called little,but since this is my blog I can write whatever I want.) is quite sure that if I sit somewhere near a temple and start singing I would earn more than what my company will offer. Apparently those people at temple would be ready to offer any amount just to shoo me away .Actually she isn't the only one to think so.Hundreds of people would verify it.The silver lining is that I always have a back up. (Heights of optimism!! isn't it?!!)

Captain of a ship : Just because I had heard that they are filthy rich and also because of their cool white uniform,and not to forget their cap. When I mention white uniform all that I can visualize is Milind soman and R madhavan in seahawks. *deep breath*

Air hostess : when I was quite sure that I am good for nothing. I thought, after all what is required to be an air hostess. Height, communication skills, ability to smile back even if somebody slaps you ?patience?! I have it all.
Me and patience !! ha ! joke of the day. How could I even think of being an air hostess ? But I did.

Sweeper : I was in std 4th and had visited my naani’s (grandmother) village during summer vacation. Just for fun I swept one small portion of that house. After looking at my work I had felt so content and smug. Just cannot describe that feeling now.

Waitress : I don’t have any particular reason for this one.

Painter : This one is something I had considered quite seriously . And by seriously I mean that I had thought about it for one whole day.

And lot more..

You see engineering was nowhere in the picture ! still not all is lost. If someday I decide to leave everything and pursue my “dreams” I would do it without much effort. After all I can be a sweeper, or a singing beggar whenever I want !

P.S : Being an Air hostess is a biiiiig deal. :)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

A cute old fellow who wasn't fat !

State bank of India ,patna

It was a small ,packed and gloomy place. We divided our work .I would update her mom’s passbook while she would collect her ATM’s pin number
Every time I do such serious ,grown up kind of stuff without any parental supervision I feel good. :)
Anyway she left.The queue wasn’t long. However,I realized that I had been standing at the same position for quite a long time. No movement at all. The lady at the counter who was supposed to update our passbooks was quite busy chit chatting with her colleagues ! Seriously. while I could feel the sweat running down my back and couldn't stop fanning myself she was giggling . Patience. Patience. I recited. Act mature. I looked here and there . I read everything that could be read in that corner of the bank - how to identify fake 500 notes,1000 notes, when did the manager join that particular branch, scores of top five employees in some stupid bank exam . By the bye highest was 21 out of 50. chhi !! I can score this much even if I write the paper in my sleep.

Finally she came back and asked the ladies to form another queue. And thus saved herself from .. I don’t know what. But she certainly saved herself .Now I was second in my “ladies “ queue. And in the other queue two middle-age men, then a tall cute old uncle (who had 7-8 passbooks ),then short Mr X and then some more people. she asked for two passbooks from each queue..I gave mine. And so did the first two men of the other queue .And just then Mr X throws his passbook on her desk from behind. This irked the old fellow. And I ,I felt like punching him. When will people learn to follow rules here! God knows.

COF (cute old fellow ): “ arrey hum apna diye hi nai h aur aap peechhe se hi pheke ja rahe h.. ye koi tareeka h”
(I haven’t given mine yet and you are throwing yours from behind ! is this the way !?)

X: “Ta hum mana ka karliwa he,tu hun de da.”
(Did I ask you not to?)

My cute old fellow gives the passbook back to Mr X.
X: “humra to eehan aawe ke jarurato na haii.ais hi ho jatai hal humar kaam. taiwo hum ailee aau line me khada hi”
(I don’t even need to come here. My work would have got done anyway. still I came and I am standing in queue.)

Ridiculous! Just look at him. How great of him to oblige us all with his divine presence. Somebody from behind complains about the slow processing of this bank.

Mr X snaps, “ jana na ha.. eehan badi ameer log line me lagal hain.. das das account hawa”
(Don’t you know.. quite rich people are standing in this queue.. having 10 accounts)

The poor old fellow gives him a stare only to provoke him more.
X :“kamwa to humre pehile hotayi,chahe tu kuchho kar la”
(whatever you do, my work will be done earlier)

COF :“hum bhi dekhte h ki aapka kaise hota h pehle”
(I will see )

The lady at the counter asks for more passbooks. At this the old guy gives all his passbooks. And again, X keeps his over the old guy’s passbooks.

COF :“gazab ke badtameez insaan hain aap. hataiye apna passbook mere passbook ke upar se aur neeche rakhiye”

X: “kahe.. tor account se paiswa khicha ke hamar me aa jatai ka”
(why? Money from your account will flow down in mine or what?)

And again dear old fellow gives the passbook back to Mr X.

X: “la chachi kara to update tani” .And X gave his passbook to the lady at the counter.
So that’s what he was so confident about all this while. He knew that lady personally.
He had crossed all his limits now. Plus it was getting really difficult for me to keep my mouth shut. But then I had to act mature. My work was getting almost done . Anyone in my place would have kept quiet. So did I.I maintained I –am- not- listening- I- am - not- looking - I - don’t -care -if –you- two -break -each -other’s –head look . But I did care.

And as if this wasn’t enough she took his passbook and casually kept on the top of the stack. That stack consisted of 7-8 passbooks of the cute old fellow.

My dear old uncle kept quiet for few minutes as if contemplating his next move and then said, “aap mera passbook de dijiye .hum aise jagah kaam nahi karwate jahan system naam ki koi cheez hi nahi h.aur manager ka office kahan h ye bataiye”

Lady : “ kya ?dikkat kya hai aapko?”
(what’s your problem?)

COF : “koi dikkat nahi h bas aap de dijiye”
(Nothing just give me back)

At this X starts laughing. I don’t know what that laugh was for.

However that lady gave back X his passbook and started working on cute old fellow’s !! yey ! I got my passbook back, smiled at X and then I left. Thank God I got to see the entire drama. It would have been so unfair if I had to leave in the middle. Happy Happy ending !